Neko

I have had a busy few weeks which have given me a lot to think about. I've been feeling the heaviness of trying to exist in a world which depends so much on the exploitation of people and animals. I try not to dwell too much on these things, as I can end up in a very dark place, but I don't want to completely turn a blind eye either. It's a difficult balance, trying to protect my own mental health while being acutely aware that ignorance isn't bliss for those who are suffering.

When I was younger, I took a very 'all-or-nothing' approach to everything. I'd try to go vegetarian, fail, then go back to eating meat regularly, feeling ashamed and disappointed in myself. As I've got older, I've realised that small progress is better than no progress, so I try to make changes wherever I can, and make them sustainable and realistic. I've stopped eating meat - I can't put an exact date on it, but I think it's coming up to a year now. Eggs and milk are a struggle for me. The industry relies on the commodification and, frankly, abuse of the female reproductive system and I find that very hard to reconcile. There's a level of cognitive dissonance required to be able to consume these products, and it's something I can't ignore anymore, after seeing first hand the processes required for producing them.

I'm not vegan, and I'm not saying this from a place of trying to demonise people for consuming animal products. I am one of those people - but I'm actively trying to move away from it, since it doesn't align with my morals anymore. Even choosing a vegetarian or vegan option once every couple of weeks adds up and makes a difference, and there shouldn't be an 'us vs them' mentality from the side of vegans/vegetarians and meat-eaters.

It reminds me of the '3 R's of animal testing' - Replacement, Reduction, Refinement. Yes, ideally there would be no animal testing, it's abhorrent. But I think we should encourage any steps in the right direction, rather than rejecting them outright because they're not radical enough.

Similarly, I've avoided fast fashion for a few years now - I get most things second hand, or from fairtrade companies. Basically, I'm trying my best to live in the least destructive way possible. But it is very difficult, and I think that's something which isn't acknowledged as much as it could be. There needs to be nuance, and acknowledgement that it's basically impossible to live in a completely unobtrusive way. It reminds me of the classic argument where someone will post a criticism of the internet, social media, capitalism, exploitation of workers, etc, and somebody will respond with the 'gotcha' "sent from my iPhone".

It's effectively impossible to function in the modern world without some kind of smart device now. It's also a hell of a lot easier to buy some cheap shit made in horrendous conditions off amazon than it is to find something ethically sourced or made by a local business, and to buy milk which is from cows which will be culled after a third of their natural lifespan after suffering a constant cycle of pregnancy, painful, debilitating conditions and living in unnatural, fear-inducing environments. That doesn't mean we can't criticise the system which made it that way.

The conclusion I've reached is that it's a lot easier not to care. It's cheaper, takes less time, and less introspection, to convince yourself that any changes you make would be a drop in the ocean, therefore pointless. The biggest step I've taken is unlearning this, and realising that it's a defeatist, nihilistic attitude which doesn't fit with who I really am.

The 15 year old version of me is probably a bit disappointed with adult-me's relatively watered-down approach to making change, but I have to gently remind her that we're still fighting injustice - but in a way that doesn't burn us out and leave us incapable of looking after ourselves, let alone anyone else.

Here are some interesting things related to topics discussed here (all open in new tabs):
- compassion in world farming
- the life of dairy cows
- use, misuse and abuse - a vet reflects on animal exploitation
- the environmental impact of fast fashion, explained

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